Welcome to Snippet Sunday! This is a snippet from End of the Road, a WIP ghost story/rock star/myster romance.
LOOKING FOR the last SNIPPET of Two Worlds Collided posted? Here you go: Chapter Three: Snippet #3
About this snippet: Chapter One (Don’t Fear) The Reaper
This is the first few paragraphs of the book. Does it grab you enough to want to read more?
Remember this is in the very early stages and has not been edited.
*****************************************************************************************************************
Cecilia Gunner tried her phone again. Her relationship with her mother had never been warm and cozy. Her rock star mother preferred the limelight and didn’t have time for her only child, but it didn’t mean Cecilia didn’t care about the woman. Besides, hugs and kisses from mama were never expected and she survived just fine.
At twenty-six, single and loving it, she’d graduated from college with honors, had her Esthetician license. She opened her makeup artistry studio, Radiant, last year. She had her Airbrush Tanning and Makeup Artist through Dinair in Hollywood and her clientele included hundreds of brides, celebrities, news anchors, socialites, and models.
The backstage of the music business is all she wanted to see, and for the most part, she managed to stay away from the rock ‘n’ roll scene that had devoured any sanity from both of her parents. Partying all night where booze and drugs were the hosts, had never been something she craved. When the clock struck twelve the magic didn’t leave behind hope in the form of a glass slipper; instead, it left broken dreams and sometimes death.
**********************************************************************************************************************
Loved to hear your feedback. 🙂
If you’re a writer (regardless of published/unpublished status) come join us and share a snippet of your work in progress, a new release, or an oldie but goodie.
Hashtags: #8sunday #snippetsunday
Participating Authors are listed at these sites:
Weekend Writing Warriors for Eight Sentence Sunday
The backstory is interesting, but I think it’s too much for the beginning of the story. We need to know what’s going on at the moment before any backstory is introduced.
Jessica,
Thanks for the advice. Glad you thought the backstory interesting.
This sounds like a good setup for the story.
Just a thought — I do wonder if it’s the best way to open. Perhaps show you character in action to hook the readers and then cut to the setup?
Ed,
I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe doing some more tweaking of this first chapter today.
That last paragraph is intense.
PT,
Glad it came off that way.
There is so much to build up on. I love how you introduce the story as a relationship with her absent mother and at the same time add a twist of mystery.
Linda,
So glad you enjoyed the snippet.
I agree. Backstory will fit into the story but let’s meet the main character at work. She’s the one I’d love to read about ; what makes her tick and how she became successful in her own way.
Charmaine,
Thanks will do some tweaking.
She sounds rather sad, even though she thinks she loves her life.
Aurora,
I’m glad you picked up on that. Sure she’s living her life, but she had missed so much of what it meant to be a family.
Intense last line and lots of info. 🙂
Amy,
Thank you.
NOT to pile on, but I honestly thought maybe I was reading the blurb, due to all the backstory details. But hey, it’s a WIP and you got the words onto the page, so it’s all good and can be worked on as we authors do! Minor nit: when you say she’d graduated from college with honors, I don’t expect her to then be an esthetician! That seems odd…unless you’re not meaning a four year college? At any rate, wow, you have some great elements here for the story and I can’t wait to read more! Loved the last line – that was terrific.
Veronica,
Yes, this is truly a WIP. lol Very raw in the making and I know I’ll have a million re-writes. 🙂 I’m already tweaking this beginning this morning. lol I usually like to write the whole story beginning to end then go back and tweak, delete, add, and rearrange as needed. lol
Regarding the honors part- I was thinking in my head it was four year college, but perhaps I should clarify that. Thanks for the words of advice.
This story has a great premise!
Elizabeth,
Thanks.
This sounds like a very intriguing premise for a story!
Christina,
Thank you.
I’m liking that last paragraph, but I agree with the others–when you get to edits, this probably needs to move down in the story a bit, with something else in the opening. Still good stuff, though!
We really get a feel for her relationship with her mother as well as the whole rock & roll scene. I agree that this might be too much introspection for the first paragraphs, though. I think we need to see her in the middle of something before knowing ALL about her. Dish it out in tiny segments that make us want to know more. This is a great set up for a very interesting story.
I agree with what everyone said. I would also try to show, and not tell. There is a very subtle poignancy about her life that comes across. You could fine tune that, perhaps.